


I See the Moon

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Dead Carla Yeager, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Police Officer Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Torture, Underage Eren Yeager, but only platonically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 17:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11422824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Eren had never seen the sun.Eren never had a childhood. He never learned what happiness was. He never knew what it was like to be embarrassed or ashamed, he never knew what it was like to belong to himself. He never learned to walk. He never understood the concept of 'outside,' no matter how many different ways his mother tried to explain it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey,,!! so I haven't updated any of my other fanfics in awhile and instead have started a few other ones, and I'm really sorry about that, but I can never control myself with my fanfics. motivation is Rough. anyways,, this isn't anything spectacular but I feel really bad for not posting anything in so long. enjoy !!

~~~~Eren had been a doll ever since he was born. He grew up in a filthy, freezing basement, and his first memories were of a woman- his mother- sobbing over him and men's hands over his tiny body. Eren had an extremely vivid memory from a moment when he was very young.. his mother's hands had wrapped around his neck and she tried to squeeze, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She ended up crying and holding Eren close to her chest as sobs wracked her weak body.

Eren had never seen the sun.

All he knew was the dark, damp, cold basement, his mother's arms, and rough hands across his body. Men came in often and took Eren away from his mother's protective embrace. They would throw him on the floor before touching him everywhere and splitting his undeveloped, frail, little body open while his mother watched, her wrists chained up so that she couldn't reach her child.

Whenever his mother was strong enough, she told Eren stories of outside and helped him learn how to speak. She took care of him the best she could, giving Eren most of the tiny portions of food she received, letting herself starve to keep him alive, yelling at the men to hurt her instead of him.

When Eren was old enough to understand, his mother told him that the men had kidnapped her a long time ago. They raped and impregnated her, and Eren was the product. She didn't know which man was Eren's father.. there were too many of them, she said. Whenever she thought Eren was asleep, she would apologize to him over and over for bringing him into his miserable life, saying she wished he had never been born so he wouldn't have to go through this.

Eren never had a childhood. He never learned what happiness was. He never knew what it was like to be embarrassed or ashamed, he never knew what it was like to belong to himself. He never learned to walk. He never understood the concept of 'outside,' no matter how many different ways his mother tried to explain it. Eren never saw any colors other than grey, black, or brown, so he didn't understand whenever his mother described the sun as 'yellow' or 'bright.' Eren didn't understand anything other than the pain he went through every day and the freezing cold temperature of the basement that sank deep into his bones. Eren was sickly and pale nearly all of the time, but his body somehow managed to stubbornly hang on and survive, even if he didn't want to.

Once, Eren's mother was trying to protect him as the men beat him viciously, throwing her body over his and taking all of the blows, holding on to her son stubbornly when the men tried to pull her off of him. Eventually, the men left, Eren pushed his mother off. He looked down at her limp body and saw that her eyes were open and empty of life. He didn't understand why she wasn't responding at first.. but he realized what had happened when the men took her body away.

Eren was alone after that.. completely and utterly alone. He started to forget what his mother looked like. He started to forget how she described the outside world and all of the stories that she told him. The only thing Eren could remember clearly was her voice, and the lullabies she sang to him when trying to coax him into sleep. Eren often sang these lullabies whenever he was alone in the basement, craving some kind of sound, missing the lovely singing voice of his mother.

Eventually, Eren forgot all of her lullabies except one, losing bits and pieces of the pitches and lyrics until his memory failed him completely. But he remembered one, and he sang it to himself over and over constantly to keep himself going and to have some part of her with him at all times.

"I see the moon, the moon sees me  
shining through the branches of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

Over the mountains, over the sea,  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

I hear the lark, the lark hears me  
singing from the branches of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love,

Over the mountains, over the sea  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love."

Eren's voice echoed in the dark, empty basement as he sang of things he had never been able to understand. His mother used to sing that all the time, to keep herself and her son hopeful for a future in which they were free to hear and see the beauties of the world they were locked away from.

\---

Eren was sitting in his usual corner with his knees drawn up to his chest and his head resting against the wall. His wrists had heavy chains on them that he had worn since he was a toddler, and his body was exposed, as it had been his entire life. Bruises, welts, and marks of all kinds littered his thin body. He had his eyes closed and was singing his mother's lullaby again, doing his best to visualize the moon, or an oak tree, or anything that he could, but it was impossible for him to picture anything that wasn't dull and gray.

He cut off his singing when heavy footsteps suddenly stormed down the stairs, knowing the men hated it when he sang. They just wanted Eren to be a quiet, docile doll for them to play with, and Eren would obey, not wanting to be hurt more than he had to. His mother had always held Eren tightly when she heard the footsteps, whispering in Eren's ear through choked sobs, telling him to _just do what they say, baby, you're going to be okay, it'll be alright, I promise, sweetheart, just please do what they say._ The sound of footsteps pushed Eren into kneeling with his face to the floor and his ass in the air, knowing the men would most likely force him into that position anyways. He had to be good for them, or he would get hurt. His mother had always screamed and cried louder whenever he got hurt.

Many people rushed into the basement.

"Spread out and look around.. there has to be someone down here." A man stated, sparking a bit of confusion in Eren. He remained still with his ass presented in the air, though, waiting for someone to come and take his body like they always did.

A few moments of searching passed.

"Sir.. sir, there's... someone over here." A man's voice stated, sounding horrified, and footsteps came close to Eren. He remained still.

"Hello..? Can you hear me? Can you sit down?" A voice asked him softly. Eren stayed silent. What was this about....?

More footsteps walked closer to Eren.

"The men that were upstairs are in custody now. You can relax.. please, sit down, it's okay. Nobody's going to touch you. We're going to get you out of here, alright?" A gentle but firm voice stated.

Eren knew that he should obey.. he slowly rolled over and sat up, glancing at the men around him. They were wearing black clothes and looked completely different than the men that usually went into the basement.. they looked more official, somehow.

"Can you hear me?" One of them asked gently.

Eren nodded a tiny bit, stunned. He still couldn't understand what was happening.

"You don't seem to have any immediate life-threatening injuries.. can you walk? An ambulance will be here soon and we'll get you out of here as quick as we can." A man explained.

Eren blinked, not understanding what 'ambulance' or 'immediate' meant.

He shook his head a little, knowing what walking was.. the men all knew how to do that and Eren's mother sometimes said she wished she could teach Eren to walk, like normal mothers did.

"Here, I'll get those cuffs off of you.." one of the men stated, walking closer to Eren with a little.. thing. It was long and thin and looked almost pointy.. Eren had no idea what it was. Some kind of knife?

The man kneeled by Eren and gently held his wrist, pushing the thing into a hole on the side of the cuff. He moved it around a little inside of the cuff, and after a few moments, it opened and fell off of Eren's tiny wrist. Eren stared at his wrist in amazement.. it hadn't been free like that since he was a baby. His wrist was swollen, scarred, and covered in dark bruises. The man undid the other cuff, and Eren wasn't chained to anything. It was an odd feeling.. he rubbed his wrists, stunned at the feeling of being unrestrained.

"Can I pick you up to take you upstairs? The ambulance should be here by now." The man asked him, taking off part of his clothing and gently placing it over Eren's body. Eren didn't know what it was called, but it was soft, warm, and giant on his small frame.

Eren nodded a tiny bit.

The man carefully reached over and picked Eren up, holding him in warm, strong arms. Eren relaxed a little... the warmth of those arms reminded him of his mother.

"Can you tell me your name?" The man asked gently as he walked towards the stairs.

"Eren." He whispered softly, his voice small and timid.

"It's nice to meet you, Eren. My name is Levi, and I promise that I'll keep you from getting hurt ever again." The man told him, his voice kind and certain.

Eren relaxed himself completely against Levi, believing him. Eren didn't know what it was like to live outside, without being hurt.. the thought overwhelmed him.

Levi carried Eren up the stairs, and Eren immediately gasped as he looked around him. He was in a new room.. the light was on, shining a bright color whose name he didn't know, and other unknown colors were around the room, on objects he didn't understand either. Eren was amazed by this foreign place... in reality, it was a small, dingy house, but it looked like a castle to Eren. It wasn't as cold there and the air felt different... Eren was speechless, and he could barely breathe.

Levi brought Eren over to a door and opened it, then walked out.

"Oh..!" A loud gasp escaped Eren, sitting up in Levi's arms, gazing around him with awe taking over his features. The air felt light, crisp, and fresh, although Eren couldn't find those words to describe it. Eren breathed in large gulps of the air, as if he'd never get enough. Eren couldn't even begin to describe what was around him.. there was grass and trees and a dark sky covered in clouds, but Eren had no idea what any of it was. The sensation was similar to a normal person landing on another planet.. Eren's breathing grew rapid and shallow and he felt dizzy and nauseous from everything around him.

"Is this... outside?" Eren asked, bewildered, his voice shaky and thin.

Levi looked down at him, puzzled.

"Yes, Eren, you're outside. You're free, it's going to be okay." Levi tried to soothe him, but Eren was so unused to this that he had no idea how to cope. He felt dazed and unable to handle all of the new sensations. His vision started to go dark and his hearing grew muffled, and he easily slipped into unconsciousness, going limp against Levi's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Eren ever so slowly returned from the darkness. He kept his eyes shut, not feeling the need to open them, knowing he would see the same basement he always saw.

Eren blocked everything out and started singing his mother's lullaby again, making sure he remembered it.

"I see the moon, the moon sees me  
shining through the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I-" Eren sang softly, and stopped when he heard footsteps approaching.

He turned himself over onto his stomach and pushed his ass high into the air like the men wanted, his face pressed down onto the ground. But instead of the ground, Eren's face met a soft surface... he opened his eyes a little and looked at the surface in confusion.

He glanced up and saw that he wasn't in the basement... he was in a smaller room, a bright room, full of a color he'd never seen before, that stung his eyes and made him squint. Eren had some kind of clothes on... they were the same color as the room and felt heavy on Eren's body, since he'd never worn them before. Strange tubes were connected to Eren's arms... he was intrigued by all that he saw, unsure of what any of it was. Eren sat down normally just as the door opened, and a woman walked in. Eren stared at her in surprise... he'd ever seen a woman other than his mother. This woman had short hair with a color he'd never seen before and pretty eyes of another unknown color... her outfit was the same color as the rest of the room.

"Hi, Eren, it's nice to meet you. My name is Lauren and I'm your nurse.. I'm here to check your vitals before the police come and talk to you, okay?" The woman stated with a soft voice.

Eren didn't understand any of that.

"Nurse?" He asked in a puzzled voice.

"Yes, Eren... you're at the hospital. Do you remember what happened to you?"

Eren blinked, and memories of Levi taking him from the basement filled his mind.

"Yes... but what is hospital?" Eren replied, his eyes still taking in everything in the room with amazement.

The nurse seemed just as confused as Eren was.

"The building you're in right now is a hospital, Eren. It's full of sick and injured people, and nurses like me are here to help those people get better." The nurse explained after a moment, and Eren nodded in understanding at the new information.

The nurse proceeded to do a series of tests, making Eren look at a light as she moved it around, taking his heart rate and blood pressure, and testing his reflexive skills. Eren had no idea what she was doing but he let it happen, knowing not to object to anything, or he'd get punished.

Once she was done, she left, and a man walked in soon after. It was Levi again.. Eren felt relieved to see him, for some reason.

"Eren, how are you feeling?" Levi asked, and Eren just nodded, not knowing what to say.

"I need to ask you questions about who you are and what happened to you so we can find your home and make sure those men who hurt you get the appropriate punishments, okay?" Levi stated, and Eren nodded.

"What's your full name, Eren?" Levi questioned, and Eren looked at him in confusion.

"Full name?" Eren repeated, his head tilted.

"Yeah. Your last name and middle name." Levi said.

"I don't have those. I'm just Eren." He replied. Levi pulled something out of his pocket, and began pressing a smaller, thinner object against it, making several connecting lines.

"What is that?" Eren asked, curious.

"This?" Levi held up the first object, and Eren nodded.

"It's a notepad for me to write down the information you tell me. I need to write it down so I have evidence from you to put those men in jail." Levi explained. "How old are you, Eren?"

Eren tilted his head. His mother told him that they couldn't measure time while they were in that basement, because they couldn't see the sun. She halfheartedly tried to count the days by the amount of times they slept, but she told Eren that she lost track after he was around two years old.

"I don't know." Eren answered honestly.

"How long were you in that basement, Eren?" Levi asked gently, looking at Eren with care in his eyes.

"I've been there my whole life. My mom gave birth to me there." Eren told him, and Levi's eyes widened, shock and grief taking over his expression.

"What happened to your mom?" Levi pressed, and Eren felt a lump in his throat. He missed her so much.. he wished she could've gotten rescued too. She deserved to be free like Eren.

"They were beating me and she tried to protect me... they ended up beating her to death. They took her body away somewhere." Eren stated, his heart aching at the memory.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Eren. Who's your father?" Levi questioned.

"One of the men who kept us there.. she doesn't know which one. They all raped her, and.. she had me." Eren explained. He hated the thought of being related to one of those men... it made him feel disgusting to be alive. He shared blood with one of them. Eren often felt the urge to tear out his veins to get any trace of his father out of his body.

"What did those men do to you, Eren? How did they treat you?" Levi asked, his eyes full of pain.

"They raped me too. They beat me a lot, with their fists and their belts.. sometimes they cut me with their knives and burned me with matches and cigarettes. My mom tried to stop them, but they hurt me anyways." Eren described bluntly. He never learned to be ashamed or horrified by what the men did to him, because that was all he knew. It would've felt normal, if Eren's mom didn't sob and scream whenever they touched him. His mom was the only reason that Eren knew his life was unfortunate.. she was the only reason that Eren had hope for a better, different future.

Levi's expression wavered. He looked.. sad. Angry.

"I'm so sorry, Eren." Levi apologized, his voice quiet. "You won't ever have to go through any of that again."

Eren nodded, grateful.

"Did they ever take you out of that basement?" Levi wondered.

Eren shook his head.

"No. This is the first time I've been out.. it's overwhelming." Eren confessed.

Levi nodded, his expression sympathetic.

"I can't imagine how strange this is for you. Everything must be unfamiliar to you, yeah?"

Eren nodded quickly, glad that someone understood.

"Yeah! I don't even know what color all of this is." Eren replied, gesturing to the hospital room.

"It's white." Levi told him, and Eren felt amazed.

"White." Eren repeated, liking the way the word sounded on his tongue.

"Your eyes." Eren said abruptly, pointing at Levi's face.

"What color are they?"

"Blue. Silver-ish blue." Levi responded.

"What color are mine?" Eren asked, sounding excited. All of this was so new... he was intrigued by everything. This was the most interesting thing that ever happened to him, and he was soaking it all up like a sponge.

"Your eyes are... a combination of green and blue, I think. Mostly green." Levi said. "Have you.. have you ever seen your reflection, Eren?"

Eren shook his head a little.

"No. I don't know how I look." He answered.

"Do you want to see?"

Eren's eyes widened.

"Yes. How can I see?" He replied, excitement seeping into his voice.

"Here, hold on." Levi stated, pulling something out of his pocket. He pressed it, then handed it to Eren. Eren looked at it in confusion, holding it delicately.

"What is this?"

"It's a phone, Eren. You can talk to people from all over the world and take pictures with it. Look at the screen, it'll show you how you look." Levi explained.

Eren turned the phone over, and gasped once he saw his reflection. His skin was practically as white as the hospital room. His hair was brown, messy, and choppy across his head from the halfhearted haircuts the men gave him every once in awhile. He had thick, brown eyebrows and big, apparently green and blue eyes. He had dark bruises across his face from the men's fists, and his hollow cheekbones stuck out of his face, showing how skinny he was. Eren touched his face gently as he looked at himself.

"I... I look like my mom." Eren whispered, tears filling his eyes.

He handed the phone back to Levi with shaking fingers.

Memories of Eren's mom holding him plagued his thoughts and a small sob escaped him. He covered his mouth and closed his eyes, trying to keep himself together.

The men always hated it when Eren cried. That just made them hurt him worse.

"I'm sorry." Eren apologized to Levi, his voice muffled by his hand, hoping the man wouldn't hurt him.

"Shhh, it's okay, Eren. You can cry." Levi assured him, and another sob went through Eren at those words. He buried his face in his hands and cried, his body trembling at the sudden emotions pouring through him. He missed his mother so, so much... he wished she was here with him. He wished she could see the outside world again like she always wanted to. She was so sweet and kind to Eren and she deserved so much more than the miserable basement she was trapped in for years. Eren sobbed as he thought about all the pain she went through, all the suffering she experienced in her life... unlike Eren, she knew what real life was, and she knew what it was like to feel joy. It must've been even more agonizing for her to be locked away from the world, since she knew the happiness it held.

She didn't deserve to die at the hands of those awful men.

Grief overwhelmed Eren as he cried, his shoulders shaking and his body crumpling from the emotions flooding through him.

He froze up when he felt arms wrapping around his back, fear tearing through him.

"I-I'm s-sorry." Eren immediately choked out, thinking he was about to be punished.

"It's going to be alright, Eren... it's okay. Just let it out." Levi's calming voice spoke in his ear, rubbing his back gently.

Eren wrapped his arms tightly around Levi and buried his face in the man's shoulder, never-ending sobs wracking his body. Levi's embrace was so warm and comforting... just like his mother's. Nobody besides Eren's mother had ever hugged him like that. He cried more at the realization, holding onto Levi for dear life as he wailed against him.

Eren cried for a long time. Levi kept his arms wrapped around him, whispering soothing words to him as he wept.

Eventually, Eren's sobs slowed to a stop and he relaxed his grip against Levi.

A few minutes passed, and they continued to hold each other close.

"Levi..." Eren whispered, his voice breaking, barely audible. "Levi.. what happens when you die?"

Levi exhaled, and slowly pulled back from Eren to look him in the eyes.

"Nobody really knows, Eren. Some people think you go to heaven, but some people think you just... stop living." Levi explained.

"Heaven..?"

"Heaven is a place that some people think you go to in the afterlife. It's a beautiful, pure place in the clouds, full of angels, and nobody in heaven worries about anything. There's no suffering in heaven. Only peace." Levi described.

"Do you.. do you think my mom is in heaven?" Eren questioned, his voice hopeful.

Levi nodded.

"I do. She went through so much suffering in her life.. she must've been rewarded with happiness and peace in the afterlife." Levi answered, sounding sincere.

Eren nodded along as he spoke, his eyes distant as he imagined his mother, smiling and relaxing up in the clouds, all of her scars healed. Maybe it was good that she was in heaven. Maybe death was.. what she needed to be happy.

"Do you think she's looking down at me from heaven?" Eren asked, glancing up at the ceiling, as if he could see his mother from that hospital room.

"Yes, I think she is. She'll be watching you and guiding you through life like a guardian angel, making sure that you're okay." Levi said. "Although she's dead, she still lives on through you, Eren. She'll always be with you, in your heart."

Eren's lips turned up ever so slightly at those reassuring, hopeful words. He was barely even smiling, but it was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> btw, here's the link to the lullaby that eren was singing.
> 
> http://www.lullaby-link.com/i-see-the-moon.html
> 
> i thought it fit pretty well. thanks so much for reading !!


End file.
